Do I need to tell my partner I have an STI?

Positive STI diagnoses are nothing to be embarrassed about, no matter how hard the shame and stigma surrounding sexually transmitted infections might try to convince you otherwise. It is usually considered illegal to knowingly or recklessly transmit an STI. For example, some countries have laws that require you to notify certain people or authorities if you are HIV-positive.

In an age where safe sex is of the utmost importance, you must take responsibility for your own sexual health.

Not only does this include getting tested regularly and receiving treatment if you test positive, but it also means you should be open about your STI status to any current or future partners.

Most partners will appreciate the honesty and feel happier in a relationship that is transparent.

It may seem daunting; you might be trying to, or have only just, come to terms with your STI status and now you have to tell someone who may or may not be your lifelong partner.

Though your instincts are telling you to abort mission, sharing your STI results with your partner will reduce the risks of transmission. This is especially important with a viral infection or viral infections such as Herpes, Human papillomavirus (HPV – the virus that causes Genital Warts) or HIV; even though these infections are entirely manageable with treatment, they are still lifelong conditions.

It will also help to avoid the use of awkward excuses like ‘oh, not tonight, I’ve got a headache’.

Being safe means taking responsibility and getting tested regularly in order to be up to date on the status of your health.
Josh Robbins, HIV/AIDS activist and spokesman for DatingPositive.com

An STI does not mean you cannot have casual sex. With proper education and the practice of safe sex, you can have a healthy intimate relationship.

For those of you who have met someone new or have been thinking of getting intimate with your new-found love, it is important to discuss your sexual health with your partner before you are sexually intimate.

This enables a conversation to explain your next steps if you are on treatment, and the importance and value of condoms. Those who criticise you are not ‘The One’.

Being open and honest with your partner is all part of building a strong and healthy relationship; this honesty should make sex and intimacy even better. If you are worried and don’t know how to talk about it with your partner, speaking to one of our trained counsellors could help. If, however, you tested with Better2Know and just found out you already have an STI, then our partner notification system will let you spread the word to all who need to know. You can even choose whether to tell them it was you or just keep that to yourself!
Mike Asher, Co-Founder of Better2Know